Aku terus menggumam, bahwa bukan salahmu jika suatu saat kau memilih pergi.

Bukan salahmu, jika suatu saat kamu akan mencari kebahagiaan lain, di tempat lain.
Di balik punggung itu, ada aku yang berdiri letih.
Hanya bisa menatap, tanpa mencoba menghentikan.
Karena ini bukan salahmu.
.
.
.
Berusaha berpegangan pada satu dahan disaat yang lainnya mulai runtuh.
Ragu akan kekuatan dan keteguhannya, aku hampir memilih terjun saja.
Melupakan sesuatu di atas sana yang sebelumnya kuperjuangkan mati-matian,
yang membuat telapak tangan ini penuh luka, karena berayun dan menggenggam sekuat tenaga.
.
.
.
Mungkin aku yang manja.
Dipeluk dan digenggam selalu tangan dan hatinya.
Begitu dilepas sejenak, merasa tak tenang, merasa resah.
Menjadi menyebalkan, karena ingin didekap kembali.
Caranya salah. Baru kusadari.
.
.
.
Ini bukan salahmu, sudah kubilang.
Masalah ego, dan kangenku yang tidak bisa diam, terus memberontak.
Kalau misal, aku menahanmu.. mau kah kau tetap disini?

Let me go back there again....

In my favourite-place, with my favourite-guy.

Seoul, September 4 2015

Thank you for the opportunity :)

When you really look at them,
you stop seeing a perfect nose,
or a straight teeth.
 You stop seeing the acne scar,
or the dimple in the chin.
Those things start to blur,
and suddenly you see them;
the colors, the life inside the shell,
and beauty takes on.
 A whole new meaning..

-Amy Harmon (Making Faces)



p.s
And after all this 405 days, I'm still in to you..

"Cause holding back your anger,

is like saving your life once from regretment..."

 

This is why we can't make a decision while angry.

There is a time
That you really need to talk to someone
And if you don't, it might explode..

The worst thing is,
You can't tell people. You can't talk to anybody..
You don't want them to know.. they won't understand. You are scared, that they might be bored hearing that annoyed things, or be sympathize.. unnecessary feeling.

And when you have found that one person, willing to hear your story all night long, that you trust, and you can comfortably crying next to, they just....
Just can't hear it.
Your mouth open, but remain silent..


*damn you period*